More than you'll ever know

Very recently, I just found out that a rather close friend of mine had been depressed during her 2nd and 3rd year in university. We were in this clique from the same lecture group during year 1 in NUS, but chose to study different fields subsequently and therefore were not able to keep in contact as frequently as we used to.

Although we did make it a point to meet up beyond just to celebrate one another's birthday, sometimes maybe just to have lunch together in 1 of the canteens in NUS. On all those occassions, I've never once detected any sign of her unhappiness. I've prided myself in being sharp and observant, and most of all, able to understand my friends "like the back of my palm".

Of coures I've been thinking too highly of myself. I couldn't even tell that my good friend had lost her meaning in life. Although we were no longer in the same lectures and she could have burdened herself with emotional labour during our gatherings, I still feel.....affected by the fact that I couldn't sense something so strong, and had been ongoing for 2 years.

Of late, while everyone else is preoccupied with academic and career matters, my mind would wander off to what will become of the friendship between me and the wonderful people I've gotten to know from my 4 year stay in NUS. The birthday surprises that we threw at one another, the crazy ktv marathons, the hardcore gaming in the pc clusters. The free rides I had accepted (and sometimes requested) shamelessly, the blatant cheating during tests in lecture theatres, the day my friends carried me to the University Health Centre from the SRC handball court when I injured myself.

I now cling onto these memories as my most precious possessions.

If you want to know what I'll miss the most when I graduate, I think you should have the answer by now. I'm beginning to miss my friends already.