Classified

Looking for Research and Development personnel. Applicants need to fulfill the following requirements:

• Able to accept failure. Not just once, but probably for months. Should always expect results not to turn out as desired or not even expect any results at all.
  
• Be able to work under pressure and constraints. Ask not what you can receive but what you can give (hey wait.....doesn't this sound like what a love consultant would say?).
  
• Able to stare at the computer for long hours. But don't even think about claiming any bills incurred for damage of eyesight.
  
• Prepared to do dirty work. You're getting better pay than a butcher does. What more do you expect?
  
• Must be very devoted to work. Preferably able to work 24/7. Helps save your pay too.
  
• Very independent. Don't bug us for every little detail, we didn't hire you to bother us.

Final year students are most prefered (free labour), followed by interns (cheap labour), and finally full time workers.

PS: We will most likely not hire the latter as universities can provide an endless supply of suckers for free and cheap labour.